In my last posting I shared the many blessings we have enjoyed, however, I overlooked and forgot one that is so obvious. I am afraid that this is not just a blessing overlooked by myself but by the vast majority of Canadians. We are so prone to overlook God’s blessings, and it should bring us back on our knees to repent and to thank our Creator for the blessings we enjoy each day.
What triggered my memory and opened my eyes was a story widely covered by news channels in Canada and the USA about the injury and death of Canadian freestyle skier Sarah Burke. She died from a head injury while practicing at Park City, Utah. Sadly enough Sarah did not carry the proper health insurance to cover her in the event of a mishap. The result of that you can read here.
It is not my intention to wade into controversial waters of which country has the best health care coverage. I just want to use this example to share with you how blessed we are in Canada with our socialized health care. Some Canadians tend to complain at times about the waiting they have to do before receiving the necessary care. I most certainly can’t be part of that. Right from the day I was diagnosed with cancer, the health care machine kicked into high gear, within 4 days I had seen 2 surgeons and specialist for my lungs and kidneys. Many tests were done at lightning speed and before I knew it I was receiving Chemotherapy treatments.
Several months later I received major surgery to remove my Kidney and Adrenal gland and up to this day I continue to receive topnotch care at no cost to me, all this for a premium of $1300 per year for Henrietta and myself. When I read that some 700.000 families in the USA declare bankruptcy due to high medical bills then we as Canadians must count our blessings for the care we receive without the worry of losing our homes or large amounts of money.
Personally, I receive care that cost at least $10.000 - $12.000 each month. More than $7000 of that is Chemo treatments, the remainder is for CT scans, doctors and specialised care by the Oncologist and others. We never see even one bill and that I find amazing.
Please don’t take your medical care in Canada for granted, thank God that these things are in place and that you can rest assured that you will receive the best possible care with the latest equipment and highly qualified medical personnel, ready to help you.
I had planned to post much sooner, but due to many things it did not happen. The main reason being that since January 19 I have been on new Chemo treatments, it is suppose to be more tolerable and easier on the body. Today, after only 12 days of taking these treatments I had again no choice but to stop. Chemo is breaking and weakening me, yet when I stop I recover quickly to my old self. This time the side effects came on so strong and suddenly in the form of fever and sweating, severe headaches, blisters in my mouth, very high blood pressure, very rapid heart rate and in the last week I dropped a pound each day. There is no way I could possible keep this up for the next 6 weeks. I will write more about this soon. It is good that I can leave all these things in God’s hands with a quiet heart.
Spiritually all is well; God is my Refuge and Strength. There are times that I struggle with the things that God has laid on my shoulders; on the other hand I know that I am not carrying the load alone and that He is ever present. So often I am comforted through His word and I feel that that is where I need to spend time.
When I feel up to it I keep busy emailing people of all walks of life and really enjoy it. It is good to be in God’s word, it blesses me and I pray that others may be blessed by it. Thank you to all of you who email, keep contact, visit and call. Thank you for your prayers. Above all I thank God for life.
May God bless you all.
John
Tuesday 31 January 2012
Thursday 19 January 2012
"School zone", slow down.
As promised in an earlier posting I want to share with you the great blessings that God has blessed us with. I always try to keep my posting short and to the point, however this time I was unable to do so, if I would have, I would not have even come close to reflect on Gods amazing grace. I want to take you into the "school zone" of life that taught us much about God and His wonderful and amazing ways in dealing with us. Many times I hesitated to tell this story because I felt it was no one's business how God cares for us, however I was often convicted and finally I could not hold back, so here it is. One thing I want to make clear, there has never been even one hour that we travelled the road through this "school zone" alone. God has and is always at our side no matter how rough the road is. I have to admit that at times I lost sight of Jesus, but thanks be to Him that He never lost sight of us, because He is faithful.
We left in September 2009 for a 3 month trial period. On this small, extremely poor and remotely located island we had many good days but also some difficult days, yet despite the intense hot days, often reaching close to 40C, its strange insects, and contacting a serious case of Typhus we knew that God was with us. Being far removed from our loved ones we felt that God called and placed us there and we were ready to settle on this island in the Indian Ocean. However, after sometime it became very apparent through circumstances that God had different plans for us. Three months later we left Sumba feeling sad and disappointed and it felt as if God had forgotten about us. Due to the remote location of Sumba we were forced to make an extended layover of 6 days in Bali, Indonesia. Henrietta and I could hardly see a positive outcome to this whole episode, yet even in these dark hours God showed His mercy by placing us in a small church gathering of Christians on the Sunday we spent in Bali.
I will never forget the passage that was preached from that Sunday. Isaiah 42: 1-9. 1Behold my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen, in whom my soul delights; I have put my Spirit upon him; he will bring forth justice to the nations. 2 He will not cry aloud or lift up his voice, or make it heard in the street; 3 A bruised reed he will not break, and a faintly burning wick he will not quench; he will faithfully bring forth justice. 4 He will not grow faint or be discouraged till he has established justice in the earth; and the coastlands wait for his law. 5 Thus says God, the LORD, who created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and what comes from it, who gives breath to the people on it and spirit to those who walk in it: 6 "I am the LORD; I have called you in righteousness; I will take you by the hand and keep you; I will give you as a covenant for the people, a light for the nations, 7 To open the eyes that are blind, to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon, from the prison those who sit in darkness. 8 I am the LORD; that is my name; my glory I give to no other, nor my praise to carved idols. 9 Behold, the former things have come to pass, and new things I now declare; before they spring forth I tell you of them."
Nobody knew of our sadness, yet God sent people on our path while on Bali to comfort us in our sadness and frustrations. God knew our needs and we experienced His upholding Grace each day. Looking back, I believe that God used this time and the remote location of this small island for future things to come. We were being prepared to rely much more on God than we had in the past. Having nowhere else to turn, we looked to Christ to help us and experienced His blessings every day. It was like going back to school; the courses we were to follow for the next two years were ones that we could only complete with God’s help. Little did we realize that this course was going to take us through deep valleys.
Once we arrived back home in December 2009, in the middle of winter we needed to acclimatise in a big way, not only temperature but also in living. Having no job I started to look for work and sending resumes to countless potential employers. The first resume I sent was to a large Canadian and International company with headquarters in Canada. They were soliciting for someone in sales and marketing in the Agricultural / Horticultural field. I was interviewed for this vacancy but not accepted, another applicant received the job. I was disappointed because it would have been a job that I would have loved, however my search went on and after months without results I often wondered what God had in mind. Did He still know about me and that I needed and wanted employment? There were times of doubt, yet at the same time I could see Gods great care by supplying us with enough money to keep going. This was the first time in my life that I used Government Employment Insurance, something I had contributed to most of my life but had never used it. Henrietta and I also used this time to go back to college where we successfully completed courses to teach English as a second language.(TESL) In addition I took in Bible and Mission courses to help us when God would open doors to work abroad in a mission setting someday (soon).
After countless tries and resumes and nearly a year of searching for work I received an email on December 9, 2010, it came totally unexpected and as thunder on a clear day. The large International Canadian company that I had contacted nearly a year earlier sent an email informing me that a position was available.
I wasted no time and replied that I was interested and in the days following a date for an interview was set for January 6. An operation manager flew in from central Canada to interview me. During the evening interview it became very apparent that this job posting was not what I thought it was. Upon asking him what the job description was he told me that it was Director of Operations, meaning the top position at the local fertilizer manufacturing plant, a job with much more responsibility than I was looking for or bargained for. I was not strange to management, however this not only surprised me it also made me hesitate. If I were to be offered the job, how could I possibly be successful in managing this totally new concept of business? However, I was assured by the interviewer that I should not hesitate to take the opportunity, head office is as close as a telephone call and they would walk me through any difficulties that would arise. At the end of the interview I was offered the job and I felt that I had to accept. After all, God was in control and He knew what was happening right there. Something that really baffled me at the time that I was the only person that was interviewed for this position. The problem was that I could not see the complete picture, but God did.
It was agreed upon that I would start as soon as possible because the position was vacant at that time. January 15 was going to be the first day on the job and only days later my employment benefits from the Government came to an end, I had used all the available time and pay. Did I have to wonder any longer if God was in control? Absolutely not, it became very clear to me that God had not forgotten me. How great a God we serve, words often fall short to express my thankfulness to Him who is in control of everything. With the job came benefits that would take effect immediately because my position was in management. If one is hired outside a management position the probation period is 3 months. I was also supplied with a mission field at work, something that I had prayed for but never thought it would be so close to home and work.
On January 15, 2011, I settled into my new work, surrounded by many helpful people that got me off to a good start. Yes, I did have to call on head office from time to time, but the sailing was smooth and the transition went well.
One of the stipulations of the job was that I was to get a medical exam at a company appointed physician in Vancouver. However, the outcome of the medical exam would not be detrimental to the job, be it good or bad results. One month later on February 15, I booked an appointment at the doctor’s office. I arrived to see a doctor, she checked me from top to bottom. She said, “Well sir, you are in excellent health, I will send the report to head office that all is in order, and by the way, I will waive the chest x-ray, there is no need to do get that done.” Thanks doc, this will save me a bunch of time going to another location to be x-rayed. As I was about to leave the doctor’s office, I was called back by the secretary behind the desk. She said, “Sir can you please sign this release to verify that your medical exam has been completed, and by the way, did you get your x-ray done already?” No, the doctor said that this was not necessary because I am in perfect health. “I am sorry,” the secretary said, “it is a requirement of your employer that you have a chest x-ray.” She gave me exact instructions how to get to the x-ray clinic some 5 blocks away. I was not happy, not only did I have to walk 5 blocks; it would also place me right in rush hour on the way home. I walked as directed to arrive at the clinic to find it closed for lunch until 2 PM. I waited for more than one unhappy hour and finally I got my x-ray taken. I remember that even the technician was not very friendly, something that even added to my unhappiness.
Two weeks went by without receiving a letter from the doctor stating that I was healthy, so I called the doctor’s office what was taking so long. Well, they said, we lost your x-ray and can’t complete the paperwork until it is found. A little disturbed by the thought of getting another x-ray taken I asked if they could call me as soon as possible when they located it. Finally after another week went by I received a call from the doctor that examined me. She said that they had located my x-ray, someone had put it aside due to the fact that they found something unusual on the x-ray. I was asked if I had a recent cold, and yes I had indeed had a cold in the past month. The doctor felt that it was possibly scar tissue and I should not worry. However, she suggested I get a CT scan, ordered by my own doctor, so they could close my file and send it to my employer.
Within days I visited my own doctor and he too checked me over and could not find anything wrong, but because he could not look inside my body he ordered a CT scan. Within days of receiving this scan I received a call from my doctor while at work on a Friday morning. “John,” he said, “I need to see you in my office this afternoon, the CT scan shows cancer. So let’s talk later this afternoon.”
On March 2, 2010, I walked into the doctor’s office (my doctor who is a Christian), the first thing my doctor said, “I am glad you are a Christian; I have no good news for you.” He proceeded to give me the results of the CT scan. It turned my world upside down to say the least. When I asked how much time I had left to live he said, one year, maybe two at the most. “However,” he said, “this is the medical point of view go home and pray for complete healing and I will do the same for you.” The remainder of this story you can read at the very beginning entries of my blog.
So my journey with cancer started that 2nd day of March 2011, although I had walked around with cancer unknowingly for some time. Multiple thoughts that had confused me the first couple of days, started to come together and again I could see God through all my troubles. My focus changed, my life changed, my outlook changed, my values changed and my priorities changed. It was as if God said, let’s make a new start and let’s try this again. I will hold your hand as we walk through the trials together until you are refined as gold is refined in the furnace of affliction. I have experienced that furnaces can be hot and very uncomfortable. Yet, I have to say what a humbling experience it has been and still is, and how I can feel God’s nearness throughout this journey. God has put my heart at ease with words from Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
The following weeks were busy with tests, scans, visiting Medical Specialists and Surgeons to get a more accurate picture which parts of the body were affected by cancer. These tests were juggled in between managing a manufacturing plant and other duties at work. On May 15, after 4 months on the job I was forced to take sick leave due to the side effects of the Chemo treatments.
With all the promises that were made in the hiring process I became somewhat worried. How would I continue without financial income? Sure I would be fine for a while but if income stops the bank balance will diminish quickly. Sure I was promised a healthy benefit package when hired, but after only 4 months on the job, I was becoming doubtful I would receive any pay. I waited with much apprehension for my first direct bank deposit from head office and wondered if all the big promises would become reality. Sure I was looking to God, but on the other hand doubt and unbelief often crept into me in a big way. The pay day came and my pay check was deposited into my account. Happy and with great thankfulness we thanked God for His care over us. Two weeks later the same thing happened again.
Then on June 15, five months after I had started, I received a phone call from head office. The person that interviewed and hired me told me, John I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that the division that you manage has been sold and it will be shutdown as of July 15, 2011. All employees will be laid off including me. (Some employees worked there for more than 30 years). This business had been in existence for 75 years.
He continued to inform me also about the good news; because you are now on sick leave you will continue to receive compensation until you get better. He stopped short of saying “or until you die”. I understood, I cried, I thanked God, I rejoiced and at the same time I was deeply ashamed of my lack of trust in God. How could I have doubted God, how could I forget Gods promises that He will never leave us or forsake us? I was very humbled by God’s care and His mercy we so undeservingly receive from his Fatherly hand. I looked back how God had put the puzzle together. There is no human being in this world that could have predicted this or could have possibly put it into order the way it worked out. I stand amazed even this very day at God’s provision and thank Him for His great blessings.
What about the mission field that I thought I found at work? In the beginning I tried to share the Gospel with the employees in walk and talk but found no ears that were willing to listen. However, after 3 months of being on the job I told the employees that I was diagnosed with a serious case of cancer and by medical standards would not have much time left. Some openly cried and questioned me many times why I was still at work, why are you not at some nice warm sunny place enjoying your last days? Why bother being here at work? In the days following many questions were asked. Hearts were opened and were made ready to listen and I was able to share Gods Word with them. Now that I no longer see them I leave it all in Gods capable hands. The seed has been sown. However, just today on January 19, I came across one of the ex-employees and he informed me that a get together is planned with all those who worked at the manufacturing plant. Maybe God has more in mind and I will wait patiently for His directions.
I felt that the mission had closed its doors at work, because I took sick leave, but it began to open its doors wider at each passing day in ways that I never expected. Now, when I feel good, I keep busy every day writing or talking to people of all ages who contact me through this blog or via other means. It has been a great blessing for me and I pray that I may be a blessing to others. Someone reminded me recently, you always wanted to work in a mission setting, God has now given you the desire of your heart.
Today not only can I share the Gospel with others, God is also looking after our financial needs thereby taking the financial burden and worry away because God cares for us. I often compare it to the Israelites when they travelled from Egypt to Canaan toward the Promised Land. God cared for them on their often difficult journey. God supplied shade by day from the sun, and light by night. He supplied daily manna, birds for meat and fountains for water. He parted the sea so they could walk through. He told them to look, only to look at the brazen serpent when they were bitten by poisonous snakes and were healed. Even when they served idols and wandered away from God, He still had mercy on them. How great and good God is. “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” (Matthew 6:26)
A text that I never understood very well is James 1: 2-4 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
In the past I questioned this text, how can you be joyful when you have trials. I have now experienced that this indeed is possible, there can be great joy and a growing in Faith and Trust in God during difficult times. There are blessings, even when one has cancer and time may be short. Therefore I can end my story with the words of Philippians 4:4-7 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
How are you doing? We all travel through a “school zone” in this life, will you please slow down and think about the course that God has enrolled you in. Maybe you are right now in Gods “re-construction zone”. Maybe you are in the furnace of affliction. Just remember God has His reasons to have you there. One day you will be able to look back and thank God for His grace and mercy and for His timely acts and blessings. I wish you a safe and joyful journey and I pray that one day when you look back you can say with all your heart,
Praise God, from whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heav'nly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost!
Praise God the Father who's the source;
Praise God the Son who is the course;
Praise God the Spirit who's the flow;
Praise God, our portion here below!
John
My background, experience and education is in the horticultural field, for that reason I worked for years in that line of work in sales and marketing and making a living with my mouth. My last year of employment in that line of work was 2009 working at Rosebank Island Nursery which was owned and operated by long time friends. I loved my job and it made it even more enjoyable to have the owners as friends. Yet deep inside there was restlessness for different work. My desire and thoughts often wandered overseas to third world countries. Henrietta and I knew of the great need that existed in these countries because we had often visited third world countries. Deep inside was the desire to work in a country where the need is great and where we could share God’s Word with those that never heard about Jesus. In 2009 it became more and more evident that the owners of the nursery wanted to sell and leave the workload to others. A buyer was found in the summer of 2009 thereby eliminating my job by September 2009.
About the same time the nursery was sold an opportunity became available to start working at a mission post on the small island of Sumba, Indonesia. After much prayer, interviews and seeking God’s approval we were chosen to go to Sumba.
We left in September 2009 for a 3 month trial period. On this small, extremely poor and remotely located island we had many good days but also some difficult days, yet despite the intense hot days, often reaching close to 40C, its strange insects, and contacting a serious case of Typhus we knew that God was with us. Being far removed from our loved ones we felt that God called and placed us there and we were ready to settle on this island in the Indian Ocean. However, after sometime it became very apparent through circumstances that God had different plans for us. Three months later we left Sumba feeling sad and disappointed and it felt as if God had forgotten about us. Due to the remote location of Sumba we were forced to make an extended layover of 6 days in Bali, Indonesia. Henrietta and I could hardly see a positive outcome to this whole episode, yet even in these dark hours God showed His mercy by placing us in a small church gathering of Christians on the Sunday we spent in Bali.
I will never forget the passage that was preached from that Sunday. Isaiah 42: 1-9. 1Behold my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen, in whom my soul delights; I have put my Spirit upon him; he will bring forth justice to the nations. 2 He will not cry aloud or lift up his voice, or make it heard in the street; 3 A bruised reed he will not break, and a faintly burning wick he will not quench; he will faithfully bring forth justice. 4 He will not grow faint or be discouraged till he has established justice in the earth; and the coastlands wait for his law. 5 Thus says God, the LORD, who created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and what comes from it, who gives breath to the people on it and spirit to those who walk in it: 6 "I am the LORD; I have called you in righteousness; I will take you by the hand and keep you; I will give you as a covenant for the people, a light for the nations, 7 To open the eyes that are blind, to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon, from the prison those who sit in darkness. 8 I am the LORD; that is my name; my glory I give to no other, nor my praise to carved idols. 9 Behold, the former things have come to pass, and new things I now declare; before they spring forth I tell you of them."
Nobody knew of our sadness, yet God sent people on our path while on Bali to comfort us in our sadness and frustrations. God knew our needs and we experienced His upholding Grace each day. Looking back, I believe that God used this time and the remote location of this small island for future things to come. We were being prepared to rely much more on God than we had in the past. Having nowhere else to turn, we looked to Christ to help us and experienced His blessings every day. It was like going back to school; the courses we were to follow for the next two years were ones that we could only complete with God’s help. Little did we realize that this course was going to take us through deep valleys.
Once we arrived back home in December 2009, in the middle of winter we needed to acclimatise in a big way, not only temperature but also in living. Having no job I started to look for work and sending resumes to countless potential employers. The first resume I sent was to a large Canadian and International company with headquarters in Canada. They were soliciting for someone in sales and marketing in the Agricultural / Horticultural field. I was interviewed for this vacancy but not accepted, another applicant received the job. I was disappointed because it would have been a job that I would have loved, however my search went on and after months without results I often wondered what God had in mind. Did He still know about me and that I needed and wanted employment? There were times of doubt, yet at the same time I could see Gods great care by supplying us with enough money to keep going. This was the first time in my life that I used Government Employment Insurance, something I had contributed to most of my life but had never used it. Henrietta and I also used this time to go back to college where we successfully completed courses to teach English as a second language.(TESL) In addition I took in Bible and Mission courses to help us when God would open doors to work abroad in a mission setting someday (soon).
After countless tries and resumes and nearly a year of searching for work I received an email on December 9, 2010, it came totally unexpected and as thunder on a clear day. The large International Canadian company that I had contacted nearly a year earlier sent an email informing me that a position was available.
I wasted no time and replied that I was interested and in the days following a date for an interview was set for January 6. An operation manager flew in from central Canada to interview me. During the evening interview it became very apparent that this job posting was not what I thought it was. Upon asking him what the job description was he told me that it was Director of Operations, meaning the top position at the local fertilizer manufacturing plant, a job with much more responsibility than I was looking for or bargained for. I was not strange to management, however this not only surprised me it also made me hesitate. If I were to be offered the job, how could I possibly be successful in managing this totally new concept of business? However, I was assured by the interviewer that I should not hesitate to take the opportunity, head office is as close as a telephone call and they would walk me through any difficulties that would arise. At the end of the interview I was offered the job and I felt that I had to accept. After all, God was in control and He knew what was happening right there. Something that really baffled me at the time that I was the only person that was interviewed for this position. The problem was that I could not see the complete picture, but God did.
It was agreed upon that I would start as soon as possible because the position was vacant at that time. January 15 was going to be the first day on the job and only days later my employment benefits from the Government came to an end, I had used all the available time and pay. Did I have to wonder any longer if God was in control? Absolutely not, it became very clear to me that God had not forgotten me. How great a God we serve, words often fall short to express my thankfulness to Him who is in control of everything. With the job came benefits that would take effect immediately because my position was in management. If one is hired outside a management position the probation period is 3 months. I was also supplied with a mission field at work, something that I had prayed for but never thought it would be so close to home and work.
One of the stipulations of the job was that I was to get a medical exam at a company appointed physician in Vancouver. However, the outcome of the medical exam would not be detrimental to the job, be it good or bad results. One month later on February 15, I booked an appointment at the doctor’s office. I arrived to see a doctor, she checked me from top to bottom. She said, “Well sir, you are in excellent health, I will send the report to head office that all is in order, and by the way, I will waive the chest x-ray, there is no need to do get that done.” Thanks doc, this will save me a bunch of time going to another location to be x-rayed. As I was about to leave the doctor’s office, I was called back by the secretary behind the desk. She said, “Sir can you please sign this release to verify that your medical exam has been completed, and by the way, did you get your x-ray done already?” No, the doctor said that this was not necessary because I am in perfect health. “I am sorry,” the secretary said, “it is a requirement of your employer that you have a chest x-ray.” She gave me exact instructions how to get to the x-ray clinic some 5 blocks away. I was not happy, not only did I have to walk 5 blocks; it would also place me right in rush hour on the way home. I walked as directed to arrive at the clinic to find it closed for lunch until 2 PM. I waited for more than one unhappy hour and finally I got my x-ray taken. I remember that even the technician was not very friendly, something that even added to my unhappiness.
Two weeks went by without receiving a letter from the doctor stating that I was healthy, so I called the doctor’s office what was taking so long. Well, they said, we lost your x-ray and can’t complete the paperwork until it is found. A little disturbed by the thought of getting another x-ray taken I asked if they could call me as soon as possible when they located it. Finally after another week went by I received a call from the doctor that examined me. She said that they had located my x-ray, someone had put it aside due to the fact that they found something unusual on the x-ray. I was asked if I had a recent cold, and yes I had indeed had a cold in the past month. The doctor felt that it was possibly scar tissue and I should not worry. However, she suggested I get a CT scan, ordered by my own doctor, so they could close my file and send it to my employer.
Within days I visited my own doctor and he too checked me over and could not find anything wrong, but because he could not look inside my body he ordered a CT scan. Within days of receiving this scan I received a call from my doctor while at work on a Friday morning. “John,” he said, “I need to see you in my office this afternoon, the CT scan shows cancer. So let’s talk later this afternoon.”
On March 2, 2010, I walked into the doctor’s office (my doctor who is a Christian), the first thing my doctor said, “I am glad you are a Christian; I have no good news for you.” He proceeded to give me the results of the CT scan. It turned my world upside down to say the least. When I asked how much time I had left to live he said, one year, maybe two at the most. “However,” he said, “this is the medical point of view go home and pray for complete healing and I will do the same for you.” The remainder of this story you can read at the very beginning entries of my blog.
The following weeks were busy with tests, scans, visiting Medical Specialists and Surgeons to get a more accurate picture which parts of the body were affected by cancer. These tests were juggled in between managing a manufacturing plant and other duties at work. On May 15, after 4 months on the job I was forced to take sick leave due to the side effects of the Chemo treatments.
With all the promises that were made in the hiring process I became somewhat worried. How would I continue without financial income? Sure I would be fine for a while but if income stops the bank balance will diminish quickly. Sure I was promised a healthy benefit package when hired, but after only 4 months on the job, I was becoming doubtful I would receive any pay. I waited with much apprehension for my first direct bank deposit from head office and wondered if all the big promises would become reality. Sure I was looking to God, but on the other hand doubt and unbelief often crept into me in a big way. The pay day came and my pay check was deposited into my account. Happy and with great thankfulness we thanked God for His care over us. Two weeks later the same thing happened again.
He continued to inform me also about the good news; because you are now on sick leave you will continue to receive compensation until you get better. He stopped short of saying “or until you die”. I understood, I cried, I thanked God, I rejoiced and at the same time I was deeply ashamed of my lack of trust in God. How could I have doubted God, how could I forget Gods promises that He will never leave us or forsake us? I was very humbled by God’s care and His mercy we so undeservingly receive from his Fatherly hand. I looked back how God had put the puzzle together. There is no human being in this world that could have predicted this or could have possibly put it into order the way it worked out. I stand amazed even this very day at God’s provision and thank Him for His great blessings.
What about the mission field that I thought I found at work? In the beginning I tried to share the Gospel with the employees in walk and talk but found no ears that were willing to listen. However, after 3 months of being on the job I told the employees that I was diagnosed with a serious case of cancer and by medical standards would not have much time left. Some openly cried and questioned me many times why I was still at work, why are you not at some nice warm sunny place enjoying your last days? Why bother being here at work? In the days following many questions were asked. Hearts were opened and were made ready to listen and I was able to share Gods Word with them. Now that I no longer see them I leave it all in Gods capable hands. The seed has been sown. However, just today on January 19, I came across one of the ex-employees and he informed me that a get together is planned with all those who worked at the manufacturing plant. Maybe God has more in mind and I will wait patiently for His directions.
I felt that the mission had closed its doors at work, because I took sick leave, but it began to open its doors wider at each passing day in ways that I never expected. Now, when I feel good, I keep busy every day writing or talking to people of all ages who contact me through this blog or via other means. It has been a great blessing for me and I pray that I may be a blessing to others. Someone reminded me recently, you always wanted to work in a mission setting, God has now given you the desire of your heart.
Today not only can I share the Gospel with others, God is also looking after our financial needs thereby taking the financial burden and worry away because God cares for us. I often compare it to the Israelites when they travelled from Egypt to Canaan toward the Promised Land. God cared for them on their often difficult journey. God supplied shade by day from the sun, and light by night. He supplied daily manna, birds for meat and fountains for water. He parted the sea so they could walk through. He told them to look, only to look at the brazen serpent when they were bitten by poisonous snakes and were healed. Even when they served idols and wandered away from God, He still had mercy on them. How great and good God is. “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” (Matthew 6:26)
A text that I never understood very well is James 1: 2-4 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
In the past I questioned this text, how can you be joyful when you have trials. I have now experienced that this indeed is possible, there can be great joy and a growing in Faith and Trust in God during difficult times. There are blessings, even when one has cancer and time may be short. Therefore I can end my story with the words of Philippians 4:4-7 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
How are you doing? We all travel through a “school zone” in this life, will you please slow down and think about the course that God has enrolled you in. Maybe you are right now in Gods “re-construction zone”. Maybe you are in the furnace of affliction. Just remember God has His reasons to have you there. One day you will be able to look back and thank God for His grace and mercy and for His timely acts and blessings. I wish you a safe and joyful journey and I pray that one day when you look back you can say with all your heart,
Praise God, from whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heav'nly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost!
Praise God the Father who's the source;
Praise God the Son who is the course;
Praise God the Spirit who's the flow;
Praise God, our portion here below!
John
Tuesday 17 January 2012
"Lord, have mercy on us, Son of David!"
That is what our continued prayer will be, especially after today’s visit with our oncologist. The news that I received today was not what I had hoped for, yet there is still much hope. We can read in the Bible that Jesus sometimes came too late when He was asked to heal, that is what we would think, the people in Bible times thought the same. Yet, Jesus never comes too late but always at the right time. When the ship is about to go down, Jesus calms the sea.
Lazarus had died, but Jesus came along and raised him from the dead. People with leprosy that were beyond human hope were healed, blind eyes that never had seen the daylight were made whole again, a man laying paralysed beside the healing waters of Siloam but unable to get in on time, then Jesus came along, spoke a few words and the man walked and leaped for joy. So the list goes on. I am one of those, unable to get healing from doctors, yet God can. I know He can, I believe He can and I pray that He will. My hope, my only hope is in Christ who did these great miracles and still does perform them today.
Today we received the results of the CT scan that was done last Friday. It showed little change from 5 weeks ago on the main tumour but it showed growth in the smaller cancer nodules that are in both lungs. They continue to grow at a slow rate, each time I have a CT scan it shows a slight increase. A constant small increase in growth eventually will amount to much growth.
The Oncologist suggested I switch to another Chemo therapy treatment because the present Chemo treatments are not giving the desired results and make me very sick. The Chemo that I will switch to will most likely be less effective by medical standards but God is in control and He can do great things, He does not even need Chemo treatments to heal, just two words will do. Be healed!!!
The type of Chemo treatments I will start now are suppose to make me less nauseated and I will be on this for 8 weeks straight without a break. I hope to start these treatments within days. It can cause other side effects and pneumonia like symptoms, fever, vomiting, appetite and weight loss and a host of others. I can’t worry about it now and will start again and pray that I will have none of the above.
I have recovered completely from my last round of Chemo and I gained back the 10 Lbs I lost. I feel very good and good enough to clear the double driveway from deep snow. God has given me much courage to go on and I am ready for the 6th round of Chemo.
Tomorrow I will be visiting the surgeon that removed my kidney and adrenal gland for a final check-up, weather permitting. For those who are from other parts of the country or world, we are receiving lots of snow with very cold temperatures. Winter has finally arrived, for now.
I hope to post my promised story later this week Lord willing. Please pray with us for complete healing. May God bless you all.
John
When we walk with the Lord
in the light of his word,
what a glory he sheds on our way!
While we do his good will,
he abides with us still,
and with all who will trust and obey.
Trust and obey, for there's no other way
to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
Not a burden we bear,
not a sorrow we share,
but our toil he doth richly repay;
not a grief or a loss,
not a frown or a cross,
but is blest if we trust and obey.
Trust and obey, for there's no other way
to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
But we never can prove
the delights of his love
until all on the altar we lay;
for the favor he shows,
for the joy he bestows,
are for them who will trust and obey.
Trust and obey, for there's no other way
to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
Then in fellowship sweet
we will sit at his feet,
or we'll walk by his side in the way;
what he says we will do,
where he sends we will go;
never fear, only trust and obey.
Trust and obey, for there's no other way
to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
Lazarus had died, but Jesus came along and raised him from the dead. People with leprosy that were beyond human hope were healed, blind eyes that never had seen the daylight were made whole again, a man laying paralysed beside the healing waters of Siloam but unable to get in on time, then Jesus came along, spoke a few words and the man walked and leaped for joy. So the list goes on. I am one of those, unable to get healing from doctors, yet God can. I know He can, I believe He can and I pray that He will. My hope, my only hope is in Christ who did these great miracles and still does perform them today.
Today we received the results of the CT scan that was done last Friday. It showed little change from 5 weeks ago on the main tumour but it showed growth in the smaller cancer nodules that are in both lungs. They continue to grow at a slow rate, each time I have a CT scan it shows a slight increase. A constant small increase in growth eventually will amount to much growth.
The Oncologist suggested I switch to another Chemo therapy treatment because the present Chemo treatments are not giving the desired results and make me very sick. The Chemo that I will switch to will most likely be less effective by medical standards but God is in control and He can do great things, He does not even need Chemo treatments to heal, just two words will do. Be healed!!!
The type of Chemo treatments I will start now are suppose to make me less nauseated and I will be on this for 8 weeks straight without a break. I hope to start these treatments within days. It can cause other side effects and pneumonia like symptoms, fever, vomiting, appetite and weight loss and a host of others. I can’t worry about it now and will start again and pray that I will have none of the above.
I have recovered completely from my last round of Chemo and I gained back the 10 Lbs I lost. I feel very good and good enough to clear the double driveway from deep snow. God has given me much courage to go on and I am ready for the 6th round of Chemo.
Tomorrow I will be visiting the surgeon that removed my kidney and adrenal gland for a final check-up, weather permitting. For those who are from other parts of the country or world, we are receiving lots of snow with very cold temperatures. Winter has finally arrived, for now.
I hope to post my promised story later this week Lord willing. Please pray with us for complete healing. May God bless you all.
John
When we walk with the Lord
in the light of his word,
what a glory he sheds on our way!
While we do his good will,
he abides with us still,
and with all who will trust and obey.
Trust and obey, for there's no other way
to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
Not a burden we bear,
not a sorrow we share,
but our toil he doth richly repay;
not a grief or a loss,
not a frown or a cross,
but is blest if we trust and obey.
Trust and obey, for there's no other way
to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
But we never can prove
the delights of his love
until all on the altar we lay;
for the favor he shows,
for the joy he bestows,
are for them who will trust and obey.
Trust and obey, for there's no other way
to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
Then in fellowship sweet
we will sit at his feet,
or we'll walk by his side in the way;
what he says we will do,
where he sends we will go;
never fear, only trust and obey.
Trust and obey, for there's no other way
to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
Thursday 12 January 2012
Sobering to say the least.
Today I came across one of the most sobering things that I have ever encountered.
What is so sobering about it ? Countless people of all ages and with the most serious diseases fight for life on the third floor of a hospital, while on the second floor this is taking place.
"It has little to do with my illness, but is has everything to do with life"
Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
Matthew 5:21 21"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.'
What is so sobering about it ? Countless people of all ages and with the most serious diseases fight for life on the third floor of a hospital, while on the second floor this is taking place.
"It has little to do with my illness, but is has everything to do with life"
Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
Matthew 5:21 21"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.'
Monday 9 January 2012
Does God really exist ?
Convicted and guilty, that is how I felt today. You know that I have written about many things on this blog, including my experiences and how God is holding us up in the struggle with cancer.
There is one thing that I feel I have failed to do, and that is to tell you the complete story. No, it’s not that I told you lies, but there is more to the story. It is about God’s miracles, His Grace and His great love. Henrietta and I have truly experienced Gods far reaching provisions in a way that I have never shared publicly and only with a few people. My personal reasoning for it was that it really is not anyone’s business how God cares for us personally. Yet God has convicted me time and again that I should come out and “show and tell”. Today was my breaking point and I finally gave in to my conviction. In the next weeks I am going to sit down and put it all to paper. I know that it will be my longest posting ever because it goes back well before I was diagnosed with cancer. I just needed to post this promise so that I cannot back out and God will get the glory and honour He deserves. I believe with all my heart that we so often fail to talk about Gods care while he cares for us day after day. We so easily complain and fail to give glory to God, we so often ask God for help, but fail to listen to what He has to say to us and tell of His wondrous love toward us. That is what convicted me, and soon you will know that God exist in a very real way.
We can read in the Bible about some incredible (or should I say credible) moving stories how Daniel survived a night among a bunch of lions and never got touched by these ravening predators, or how Jonah was swallowed up by a big fish when he was thrown overboard at his own request and survived three days inside the fish with weeds wrapped around his head and finally ended up being spit out on a beach, or how that Elijah was fed by ravens while in the wilderness. Ravens of all things, birds that eat everything that comes within their eyesight and are some of the most selfish birds around, yet God commanded these birds to bring Elijah bread, and so they did. Amazing isn’t it! I have one of these stories and you will hear how great and merciful our Father in Heaven is. You can listen to one of these beautiful stories below, out of the mouth of a babe.
In the past I have heard of stories that happened to our grandfathers or some distant relative and how God helped in times of need. It is for that reason I want to tell my story myself while I am alive so my children or grandchildren don’t have to do it later.
On another note, it has been a trying and difficult couple of weeks to the point that it nearly broke me. (I think Chemo treatments could be used to bring criminals to confession). I am now on the path of recovery and have started eating again, and as before my appetite is growing by the hour. I am thankful for that because I have 10 Lbs to gain before the next round of Chemo. On Wednesday morning I felt so good that we booked a trip to the sunshine to leave the following morning, just to get out and recuperate a little only to have to cancel the same evening when I ended up in emergency. After getting an IV and some meds I felt better but not good enough to travel. Now we are staying put because Friday I need to go for a CT scan. My Oncologist requested this because I ended up quitting 3 days earlier with my Chemo than planned.
On January 17 I will visit the Oncologist for the results and start the same day on Chemotherapy treatments once again, that will be my 6th month on Chemo. I shudder at the thought of starting again.
The Chemo is taking a real toll on my body and I can feel how it is aging me; however, I am glad it is only my body that is aging and not my soul. Even though we had the disappointment of not going away, God is overshadowing these things with His countless blessings. Last week I had such beautiful and Godly conversations with people that called or that I met. Thank you for your cares, prayers , may God bless you all and keep you under His protecting care.
Rejoicing in Christ,
John
There is one thing that I feel I have failed to do, and that is to tell you the complete story. No, it’s not that I told you lies, but there is more to the story. It is about God’s miracles, His Grace and His great love. Henrietta and I have truly experienced Gods far reaching provisions in a way that I have never shared publicly and only with a few people. My personal reasoning for it was that it really is not anyone’s business how God cares for us personally. Yet God has convicted me time and again that I should come out and “show and tell”. Today was my breaking point and I finally gave in to my conviction. In the next weeks I am going to sit down and put it all to paper. I know that it will be my longest posting ever because it goes back well before I was diagnosed with cancer. I just needed to post this promise so that I cannot back out and God will get the glory and honour He deserves. I believe with all my heart that we so often fail to talk about Gods care while he cares for us day after day. We so easily complain and fail to give glory to God, we so often ask God for help, but fail to listen to what He has to say to us and tell of His wondrous love toward us. That is what convicted me, and soon you will know that God exist in a very real way.
We can read in the Bible about some incredible (or should I say credible) moving stories how Daniel survived a night among a bunch of lions and never got touched by these ravening predators, or how Jonah was swallowed up by a big fish when he was thrown overboard at his own request and survived three days inside the fish with weeds wrapped around his head and finally ended up being spit out on a beach, or how that Elijah was fed by ravens while in the wilderness. Ravens of all things, birds that eat everything that comes within their eyesight and are some of the most selfish birds around, yet God commanded these birds to bring Elijah bread, and so they did. Amazing isn’t it! I have one of these stories and you will hear how great and merciful our Father in Heaven is. You can listen to one of these beautiful stories below, out of the mouth of a babe.
In the past I have heard of stories that happened to our grandfathers or some distant relative and how God helped in times of need. It is for that reason I want to tell my story myself while I am alive so my children or grandchildren don’t have to do it later.
On another note, it has been a trying and difficult couple of weeks to the point that it nearly broke me. (I think Chemo treatments could be used to bring criminals to confession). I am now on the path of recovery and have started eating again, and as before my appetite is growing by the hour. I am thankful for that because I have 10 Lbs to gain before the next round of Chemo. On Wednesday morning I felt so good that we booked a trip to the sunshine to leave the following morning, just to get out and recuperate a little only to have to cancel the same evening when I ended up in emergency. After getting an IV and some meds I felt better but not good enough to travel. Now we are staying put because Friday I need to go for a CT scan. My Oncologist requested this because I ended up quitting 3 days earlier with my Chemo than planned.
On January 17 I will visit the Oncologist for the results and start the same day on Chemotherapy treatments once again, that will be my 6th month on Chemo. I shudder at the thought of starting again.
The Chemo is taking a real toll on my body and I can feel how it is aging me; however, I am glad it is only my body that is aging and not my soul. Even though we had the disappointment of not going away, God is overshadowing these things with His countless blessings. Last week I had such beautiful and Godly conversations with people that called or that I met. Thank you for your cares, prayers , may God bless you all and keep you under His protecting care.
Rejoicing in Christ,
John
Tuesday 3 January 2012
What about tomorrow ?
There are times and days when troubles can be so overwhelming. Not just troubles of my own cancer but also for those with whom I share this dreadful disease, as I heard today how that our pastors wife was diagnosed with a serious case of breast / bone cancer. I remember the day as if it happened an hour ago when my doctor told me that I had cancer. I re-live the day when I hear others are diagnosed and I feel their pain and tears, it brings reality home once again that all our lives will end on this earth sooner or later. This begs the question, where will we spend eternity? A big question that requires an answer. We all know that we cannot blame God if we go lost, that leaves only us personally responsible. Today is the day of Salvation.
Sometimes the thought arises in my mind, what’s next, who is it going to be tomorrow? Yet, I have to leave tomorrow up to God and not worry about it. We can read in Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Indeed if we can all take this to heart our days will be filled with much peace, as written in Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I am thankful to God that I can often rest in that Peace. Life can be such a rollercoaster at times, yet Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever, a great comfort when one finds himself in the deep valleys of life. It is in these valleys where streams of Living Water flow, the Living Water Jesus Christ. This is indeed the most restful place for weary souls, a place where I indeed find rest. So whatever your circumstances are, surrender to Christ, he will give you rest, Eternal rest.
The last days have been particularly difficult because of being very ill from Chemo treatments. I ended my treatments three days early because my body basically crumbled under the load and it was impossible to go on, not even one more day. I am at peace with it and place it all into Gods hands. He knows what is best. Today I am in recovery mode, trying to keep the little food down that I ate. Hopefully in a few days I will feel much better.
What’s next? What about tomorrow? I will have to see the Oncologist on January 16, Lord willing. I don’t know the answer yet. As quoted earlier; “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.”
Thank you for your love and care and the many cards from many different places.
Resting in His Grace,
John
Sometimes the thought arises in my mind, what’s next, who is it going to be tomorrow? Yet, I have to leave tomorrow up to God and not worry about it. We can read in Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Indeed if we can all take this to heart our days will be filled with much peace, as written in Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I am thankful to God that I can often rest in that Peace. Life can be such a rollercoaster at times, yet Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever, a great comfort when one finds himself in the deep valleys of life. It is in these valleys where streams of Living Water flow, the Living Water Jesus Christ. This is indeed the most restful place for weary souls, a place where I indeed find rest. So whatever your circumstances are, surrender to Christ, he will give you rest, Eternal rest.
The last days have been particularly difficult because of being very ill from Chemo treatments. I ended my treatments three days early because my body basically crumbled under the load and it was impossible to go on, not even one more day. I am at peace with it and place it all into Gods hands. He knows what is best. Today I am in recovery mode, trying to keep the little food down that I ate. Hopefully in a few days I will feel much better.
What’s next? What about tomorrow? I will have to see the Oncologist on January 16, Lord willing. I don’t know the answer yet. As quoted earlier; “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.”
Thank you for your love and care and the many cards from many different places.
Resting in His Grace,
John
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